Zindagi ki Diary - Mi Vida Loca

On Yusuf!

2012-02-16T17:06:00.000-06:00

People think Yusuf has a place in history because he was the most handsome man ever existed on this planet. This is a very shallow approach to that Qasas (story). Lust and seduction of Zuleikha for a handsome man happened millions of time in human history and would continue to do till estrogen (and testosterone) is flowing!

So what exalted Yusuf in human history? It was not his beauty! Actually it was his strong commitment to his core value of 'not to cheat'. Yusuf was brought from Egypt's Bazaar as a slave but treated like a son by his Master. Master's wife Zuleikha seduced him and offered to sleep with him. Yusuf found it inappropriate to sleep with wife of his father like master. In revenge, Zuleikha was able to put him in prison for long time but Yusuf stands for what he believed! It was the strength of character - despite having mind blowing grace to get any woman in a blink - he refused to succumb to seduction, lust and basic fatal instinct.

Alag!

2012-02-14T07:55:00.003-06:00

Ye 'Amreeca' se aake sachai ka bhashan dena bohat asan hai.

Kabhi tumhare baap ne Husainabad main 'corn soup' ka thela lagaya ho to tumhe malum ho!

Kabhi tumhari ma ne gharoN main maasi ka kaam kiya ho to tumhe malum ho!

Kabhi tumhara saara saman makan malik ne bahir phikwaya ho aur tumhare khandan ne saari raat khule aasman ke neeche guzari ho to tumhe malum ho!

School jaate huwe kabhi paon main purani bo'seeda ghisi peeti chappal hoti to tumhe pata chalta!

Tum to kal 'emirates' ki flight pakar ke American passport lehrate yahan se rawana ho jao ge - Dil main socho ge ke yahan ke to log hi kamine kaam chor hain - magar '2-D' ki bus main latkte huwe to ghar hame hi aana pare ga...

Apne iPhone se is bad-naseeb shahr ki tasveraiN khenchte raho ke kal facebook pe post kerni hogi - chai ka ye cup piyo - aur khuda ke waste hame hamare halat pe chor do, ke - hamari sachahioN aur hamari khushioN ke aabgeene tum se bohat alag ho chuke hain.....

Sir! We are 2 different species now!! We belong to different nuclei!

Dil!

2012-02-05T20:35:00.000-06:00

Ye kese ho sakta hai ke - aap kisi ko bohat yaad karaiN aur woh aap ko yaad na kare? Aesa nahi ho sakta - aesa nahi hona chahiye - aur agar aesa hota hai - to insaani rishte be-maa'ni haiN!

Dr. L

2012-02-03T19:46:00.002-06:00

Lets call him Dr. L

When I was a senior resident, life was way difficult. We use to work like an attending with in house call. I use to freak out if I get a pregnant patient with major complication! Dr. L was a maternal-fetal senior resident in our hospital. An extremely hardworking, well liked, mild mannered nice fellow! He always bailed me out!!I met him accidentally couple of times since I left residency and always noticed that he has lost weight - but didn't pay much attention.

Last week I was in a medical conference. As I was walking to a lunch corner with my colleague, I saw him on wheelchair. First, I thought he may have broke his bone but it was worse than that. We recognized each other. He has lost most muscle mass. He had hard time talking. His wife was pushing his chair. He has developed ALS (Lou Gehrig's disease). I chatted with him for few minutes. He told me that he is now disable but he attend meetings to get out of home...

As I walked away, my friend said his favorite words: "Life is a Bitch." I replied with my favorite line: "Yaap! so F*** her before you lose it."

bad-naseeb

2012-01-30T08:12:00.000-06:00

"Tum mujh se aksar kehte hona ke bad-naseeb woh hai jis main mohabbat kerne ki his (sense) na ho! Tum galat kehte ho! Duniya main sab se ziyada bad-naseeb woh hai jis main mohabbat ko mehsoos kerne ki taqt - aur use 'accept' kerne ki salahiyat na ho. Aese log huwe bhi to kiya, na huwe to bhi kiya"

The Tree of Life!

2012-01-28T23:42:00.000-06:00

Before I write anything about this many awards winning movie, let me warn you that this is a painfully (I mean painfully) slow movie and is a kind of a experimental movie. Even it took years for makers of this movie to bring concept in visual form. It is said that Sean Penn was very disappointed with translation of strong script to Screen. I read the first unedited original script on net and I agree with him.

Theme of movie is little complicated in the sense that - there are 2 ways to nourish the tree of life. Either you follow the rules of 'nature' and live a strict life learned via discipline. Other way is to live with 'grace' where you follow the path of love. In the end, writer argues that path of 'love' is the right path.

Plot: Movie rotates around a family of husband, wife and 3 young sons based at Waco, Texas somewhere in 1950s. Brad Pitt is a loving but a strict father. He has his own issues. He love his kids but he believes in strict discipline. He wants them to get prepare against the cruel world. And, in the process he destroys the harmony of whole family, particularly when his older son (Jack) starts hitting puberty and so as rebellion. On other side, Mother tried to raise kids with love and play. Sounds like a typical Indian/Pakistani family back home? (Originally, movie was supposed to be based in India).

So what makes this movie complicated? The abstract use of colors (not computer generated but real use of oil) showing the origin and evolution of life, portraying anger and grief as a burning lava, showing dinosaurs doing an act of grace, symbolic death of older son Jack at age of 19, the psychological journey of a young boy and how childhood experiences linger on till old hood (played by Sean Penn), symbolic use of tree in backyard, symbolic use of resurrection at end when his father realizes his unfairness..........(Juziaat)

The most interesting part (for me) was, when Mother told her daughter-in-laws that: "I gave you my sons"

(MohabbatoN ka safar aage barhta hai).

Saath Saath!

2012-01-27T20:42:00.000-06:00

Kabhi kabhi aap ko aesa nahi lagta hai ke - hum akele nahi hain! - Koi hai! - jo hamare saath saath rehta hai - Hum se bataiN kerta hai - hume samjhata hai - hume daantta bhi hai - hume sikhata bhi hai - hamare liye raaste banata hai - hamare liye waqiyaat ko bhi zahoor main laata hai....
......Ye sab kuch sirf dimag ka fatoor to nahi ho sakta......
......Ye saara gorkh dhandha sirf 'neuro-psychiatry' to nahi ho sakti....

Andheri raat hai, saaya to ho nahi sakta
ye kaun hai? jo mere sath sath chalta hai

Baal!

2012-01-26T06:31:00.000-06:00

"Tum apne itne lambe baaloN ko 'maintain' kese kerti ho?"
"Amma kehti haiN! Aurat ke baal jitne khubsurat aur haat jitne sugghar hon (cooking) - mard usse utni hi ziyada mohabbat kerta hai!"

(being a man I can testify above as true - but can't speak from women's perspective)

No! He didn't have affair!

2012-01-24T09:30:00.000-06:00

Life seemed nearly perfect for Catherine and John Graves, who married in 2001 and lovingly merged two families that included six children. The couple also joined forces in a masonry business in Phoenix and looked forward to a bright economic and emotional future. But just a few years into their new marriage, John Graves showed signs of having an affair. He seemed to lose interest in his wife, squandered company money and disappeared for hours at night. Catherine Graves, now 45, even hired a private detective.

But it wasn't another woman who was the problem -- it was an aggressive and fatal brain tumor that had slowly caused personality changes and eventually killed her husband of only five years ...............................................

"First of all, we had a year of a really horrible marriage -- he went from loving me more than anything in the world to seeming like he didn't care about me at all," Graves said.

When the private detective turned up nothing nefarious, the couple sought counseling and John was diagnosed with depression. But after he suffered a seizure while in residential treatment, counselors sent him off to a hospital emergency room where a brain scan revealed a virulent glioblastoma, commonly called a glioma.

John Graves' tumor was located in the frontal lobe, which controls personality and emotion -- "the things that make you who you are," according to his wife. His short-term memory had started to fail and "he honestly didn't know where he was and how to get home," she said. "He'd be on the phone and not know who he was talking to. "I thought maybe he was doing drugs and drinking or he was depressed and gambling," she said. Her husband underwent surgery to remove the tumor, but, like a lobotomy, it rendered him emotionless. The steroid medication made him irritable and angry. He suffered repeated seizures.
Graves was sent home to care for him, not knowing when he would die...........

(Source: ABC News via Yahoo here)

Shukar..

2012-01-21T11:16:00.000-06:00

(overheard)

"Baji! aap ke bhayya har chutti wale din, poora poora din bethe video games kehlte rehte hain....unko koi baat hi samjh nahi aati"

"Are bibi shukar karo! ghar pe tumhari aankhoN ke saamne hote hain....Mere Mian ki tarah poori poori raat strip club main nahi pare rehte"

Brainwashing...

2012-01-20T11:14:00.000-06:00

Out of many, one thing which I found very intriguing that how easily human mind(s) can be manipulated. At personal level it happens all the time in any given human relationship. But how media, political leaders and just a wave of stereotyping can sway millions of mind is extremely disturbing. It may sound crude - but I call it F****ing with brains. Alarmingly, there are very few fortunate who can see out of box in middle of any given crisis.

(On same note but at different frequency other posts were psychological dyslexia and dusra sawal)

Noticer

2012-01-17T09:30:00.000-06:00

"Noticer" - one of the finest book I read in recent memory, written by Andy Andrews. In one way this book is just a story but in actuality it explores different situations of life where just looking things from different 'perspective' - makes the whole difference. It discusses situation of a young teenager plunged into depression, a couple near divorce, a middle age hard working professional who is just not sure why thing are falling apart despite sincere hard work, young college graduates confused about picking right life partners, a person who is trying to reach success by short cuts, an old lonely lady who now feels worthless.....and many others.

My favorite line from book: "Logic warned him to keep quiet, but something more powerful gave him a sense of well-being, of trust."

Fetal Heartbeat!

2012-01-16T11:00:00.000-06:00

Nothing is more mesmerizing, amazing, mystifying and miraculous than watching the fast beating heart of fetus in mother's womb!

A Physician's Diary!

2012-01-15T08:14:00.000-06:00

Last week while driving on highway, I had acute abdominal pain, I felt dizzy and I forcefully puked on windscreen. I was barely able to take exit and parked in a parking lot. As I felt better, I drove myself to hospital (a stupid thing to do instead of calling 911).

Since my arrival to ER, sitting on wheelchair, going through triage, watching staff working under pressure, other emergencies arriving, going through the registration process while puking, a new nurse desperately trying to put IV on me, getting medications, watching physicians, paramedics, loved ones waiting in lobby, other patients, one violent psych patient lying next to me, a CNA trying to give comfort while putting extra blanket on me, going through various tests, watching technicians, transporters and other staff calmly taking frustration of patients. Dealing with first year confused intern, resident, surgeon.....And above all while lying there as a patient......

I realized, how privileged and blessed I am, to put my white coat every morning and go to work. Nothing could be more rewarding. That explained to me one unanswered query of my life that why over centuries - sages, saints, sufis and other religious men have so much interest in medicine as nothing could be more nobler than bringing comfort to any human's misery.....

Ibne maryam huwa kare koi
mere dard ki dawa kare koi

I had nothing but to say thank you in my heart!!

Goodbye

2012-01-07T21:27:00.001-06:00

A man never knows how to say goodbye; a woman never knows when to say it. (Helen Rowland)

Mom reunites with daughter 77 years later

2012-01-02T20:56:00.002-06:00

For most of her 100 years, Minka Disbrow tried to find out what became of the precious baby girl she gave up for adoption after being raped as a teen.

One amazing story of human relationship. click here

Frienemies

2011-12-31T00:30:00.000-06:00

Kuch arsa pehle aik dost ne bari khubsurat baat sunai ke: "MiaN biwi ka rishta bara hasad ka rishta hota hai". Baat kafi had tak sahi hai. Aksar 'marriages' main partners main - aik tarah ki 'unconscious power struggle' shuru ho jaati hai...

Aaj phir kisi ne kaha ke mian biwi aik dusre ke 'Frienemies' hote hain - to woh baat phir yaad aa gai!!

(Frienemies or Frenemies = Friend and Enemy simultaneously)

On Near Death Experience

2011-12-29T02:00:00.000-06:00

A Texas teenager, Ben Breedlove, who cheated death three times despite a dangerous heart condition died on Christmas night from a heart attack, but not before posting a two-part video on YouTube telling his story and describing a series of powerful visions.

Story here, Youtube videos Part 1 Part 2

Ghalib!

2011-12-28T08:08:00.002-06:00

I think it was 1996. I was very new in USA. I was invited to a private dinner by Ifti (Click). I was sitting next to Javed Akhtar. (Ye woh zamana tha jab log Shabana Azmi ko Javed Akhtar se ziyada jaante the!). Javed Akhtar asked me about my work, Pakistan, my background etc. Than he asked me: "Beta kuch shayeri wayeri bhi parhte ho?" I replied Yes and I added that I love Ghalib! Javed Akhtar smiled and said: "Sahi kehto ho! shayer to sirf Ghalib hai - baqi sab shayer ghaliban hain" (The only poet is Ghalib - all others can be said as probable poets!)...Ghalib ki is se achhi taa'rif main ne aaj tak nahi suni!

Somebody send this interesting article on Ghalib and I think its worth sharing. Mirza Ghalib: Peshawari Turban and Humor (click)

The Descendants

2011-12-27T01:04:00.001-06:00

In Holidays' all glamorous movies - George Clooney's independent/art movie "The Descendants" didn't catch much media attention but it was an awesome work - not only because Clooney did a great piece of acting but, the way the whole movie came all together with plot, photography, dialogues etc.

George Clooney is a busy attorney whose wife become vegetative after a boat accident. While taking care of her, he comes to know that she was cheating on him. First he goes nut but as movie progresses, he deals with his anger. Simultaneously, he has to deal with his 2 spoiled dysfunctional daughters and his other obligation as trustee of expensive family fortune.

The theme is - at the end you have to let go all bitter feelings and carry on with your responsibilities as best as you can.

Trailer here

Death in Sleep!

2011-12-26T22:04:00.000-06:00

Kiya log chale jaane ke baad hame aalme-bala main yaad kerte hain? ya neend main hum sab alame-baala main hote hain?

.............Aaj main aik aese kawab se bedaar huwa jis main aik bohat purana dost jo ab ja chuka - mere paas betha batain kerta raha. Us ke jaane se pehle hamari laraii hui thi, baat cheet band ho gai thi, taaluqat aese tute ke phir kabhi baat na hui...and we make up in our dream!

Uth ker kuch der main kafi pareshani ke alam main raha. Yun mehsoos hota tha woh khawab nahi, haqeeqat tha! Main ne Quran khola to ye ayat parhne ko mili: "Woh wahi hai jo raat main tumhae wafat deta hai aur janta hai jo kuch din main kamao, phir tumhe din main uthata hai ke theraii hui mee'ad puri ho - phir usi ki taraf phirna hai - phir woh bata dega jo kuch tum kerte the' (6:60)

A Quote

2011-12-21T19:00:00.004-06:00

Being happy doesn't result from solving the world's problems, it is a state of mind with which you confront the world's problem. (Dr. Timothy J. Sharp in 100 Ways to Happiness)

Aik kamra - Aur us main ruka waqt!

2011-12-16T10:36:00.000-06:00

(There is no exaggeration in following post. Everything is written as found)

Is kamre main lagta hai waqt 'March 2003' pe aa ker tham gaya hai.
Peechle aath (8) baras main is kamre main kuch nahi badla!

Bister pe rakhe khubsurat 'pillows' ki teh der teh......Bister kinare 'carousel horse' ka woh lamp......Study table pe khuli woh note book. Us note book pe woh pencil aath (8) baras se yunhi pari hai.......Woh compUSA ka kids computer....Bookshelf main khubsurti se saji woh kahanioN ki kitabain........Deewar pe laga woh marker board, jis pe peechle aath (8) baras se us bachhi ke likhe alfaz - "Dance is my life" aaj bhi yunhi tehreer hai....Bathroom main pare woh 'towels'......Sink pe woh 'princess' ka tooth brush.......Calendar pe "March 2003" ka mahina.....

Is kamre main ghari ki sui ruk si gai hai.

Dr. Farhat ki biwi aath (8) baras pehle ghar chor ker chali gai. Jaate jaate beti ko bhi le gai. Us din se Dr. Farhat ke - darkhton (woods) main ghire - is million dollar mension - ke is kamre main kuch nahi badla. 'Maid' ko sakht hidayat hai ke - safaii zaroor ho - magar koi cheez jagah se na hile.

Is kamre ko main ne pehle bhi dekha hai magar ab ke baras to - mujeh is kamre se khauf aane laga hai jis main yaadoN ke kai bhoot pareet band ho gaye hain!!

Aik Sher!

2011-12-10T11:52:00.001-06:00

I am not sure is this sher belongs to Mohsin Bhopali or Mohsin Naqvi, as both used same takhallus - (or some other Mohsin) - but its worth sharing..

Over centuries history changed as bit Mohsin
Than age was stoned, now people are stoned!

Matti Pao!

2011-12-08T20:26:00.001-06:00

Is blog pe main ne apne aik dost Barkatullah ka zikar kiya tha (here). 'Positive Attitude' rakhne wale aese log zindagi main bohat kum milte haiN. Barkatullah se main ne zindagi main do (2) 'Magical Words' sikhe! aur woh mujeh zindagi main bohat kaam aaye.

Jub kabhi mohalle main hamara kisi se jhagra ho jaata, hum Cricket ka koi match haar jaate, koi nuqsan ho jaata, koi picnic kharab ho jaati, koi dost dhoka de jaata....Aur jub hum sab dost beth ker - uska afsos kerna shuru kerte - ya gussa utarna shuru kerte ...to Barkatullah apni patloon jharta huwa khara hota aur kehta "Matti Pao" - aur phir kehta "chalo chai piyaiN" ya "chalo film dekhaiN" ya "chalo clifton chalaiN" ya "chalo nihari khate haiN" .....aur hum sab bhi "Haan Haan Matti Pao" keh ker saath chal parte - aur sab kuch bhool jaate!

Zindagi main aksar aese mauqe aaye.....jab main 'frustrate' huwa, jab main udas huwa, pareshan huwa, gussa ayya, nuqsan huwa, koi anhoni ya napasandeedah baat ho gai...Main dil main kehta hun - "Matti Pao" - aur moveon ho jaata hun...

Bachpan ki kai baatain zindagi bhar saath nahi chortiN

Saima-2

2011-12-04T19:09:00.001-06:00

Somebody send me a personal email asking for a follow up on one story I did on Saima (or here). Here is the follow up.

Saima finally told her husband about her previous illegitimate child from her teenage life and it resulted in following domino effect. I will put everything as factually happened so probably no literary 'chashni'.

1. Saima's husband divorced her and kicked her out of the house!
2. Saima found her daughter and she accepted her, and actually that's the only good part of this story. They both keep in touch with each other.
3. Saima's husband after divorce lost all his business and Child Support dropped down only to $300 per month which brought Saima literally on street. Though she finds odd job on and off but they pay very minimal money (without any skill).
4. Saima's one son dropped out from college and moved on with his life. He is angry on his mother whom he thinks of as slut now (some brainwashing from dad)!
5. To save second son from dropping out from college she found an old Pakistani married sugar daddy who helps her out financially but naturally she has to pay in some other way! (I will not get judgmental here)
6. Due to above all, she lost all respect in conservative desi community and she is now rarely seen in public.
7. Saima took truth to end by informing the guy who fathered her daughter years ago but he didn't show any interest! (let say didn't give S***)

Sachhai ki bohat bhari qeemat ada ki hai Saima ne

Last time I heard from her about 6 months ago (since she changed her #), when I texted her just to find out how she is doing and she text me back the following song!

On 'Quest of Love'

2011-12-02T23:57:00.001-06:00

A lot has written on this topic but was best described in renowned french novel "Madame Bovary". Whether talking of unhappiness in one's relationship - or polygamous relationships - or leaving relationships one after another in quest of perfect/ideal relationship - one thing need to be understand:

"Extramarital relationships, polygamous affairs, quickies, one night stands, serial dating - is not a sign of freedom and may sound very exotic on outside but may turn a soul into as pathetic, possessive and banal as monogamous relationship or marriage itself. In actuality, this so called sign of freedom may turn into a bigger psychological, social and personality storm...."

There is no perfect answer! As our Gulzar sahab said on relationship....
KaantoN ki taaraiN haiN, Pathar ke darwaze!

On walk from place of worship!

2011-11-28T12:33:00.001-06:00

Meri baat aap ko bohat purani aur daqyanusi lage gi!

Mandir ho, masjid ho, kaleesa ho ke kaaba ho. Kisi bhi insaan ko is baat se bohat khushi haasil hoti hai ke - woh apni 'place of worship' se paidal chal ker apne ghar tak aaye! ...........................Agar aap ne zindagi main aesa nahi kiya to ker ke dekhiye - aik achha sakoon milta hai.

Wajah aap dhundiye, mujeh sirf 'statement' dene dijye.

Man and Woman...

2011-11-27T12:36:00.000-06:00

(Both brains work differently)

Give Respect to a Man, and in return he will love you....
Give Love to a Woman, and in return she will respect you......

Diya!

2011-11-23T00:07:00.001-06:00

Hamare shehr main aik mandir hai.

Baqol Faiz:
koi ujra huwa, be-noor purana mandir
dhundhta hai jo kharabi ke bahane kab se
Chaak har baam, har ik dum ka dum-e-akhir hai

Us mandir main kisi shab main ne bhi tumhara naam ka aik diya jalaya hai

A fine line between You and Me

2011-11-18T09:04:00.000-06:00

Another beautiful post from Aisha - an highly emotional tale from real life.

"I realize we are all someone's child. And I realize that if I let my heart crack open and bleed like it does right now over moments like this that I will not be able to function in this world full of heartache and sadness as much as its filled with sunflowers and daffodils-- but there are some moments like watching tears of gratitude from a man old enough to be your grandfather because you plugged in a cord-- that make your heart hurt."

Read full Post: On power cords and the fine line between You and Me

At Deathbed - 2

2011-11-17T07:48:00.001-06:00

On my previous post, Aasem Bakhshi has views contrary to mine. He prefer to be alone at deathbed due to reason that he does not want loved ones to suffer due to his own death. Actually, his views coincide with Great Leo Tolstoy (who in real life, before death walked out of house but collapsed at nearby train station). Let me quote a paragraph from last page of his story "The Death of Ivan Ilyich".

"At that very moment Ivan Ilych fell through and caught sight of the light, and it was revealed to him that though his life had not been what it should have been, this could still be rectified. He asked himself, "What *is* the right thing?" and grew still, listening. Then he felt that someone was kissing his hand. He opened his eyes, looked at his son, and felt sorry for him. His wife camp up to him and he glanced at her. She was gazing at him open-mouthed, with undried tears on her nose and cheek and a despairing look on her face. He felt sorry for her too.

"Yes, I am making them wretched," he thought. "They are sorry, but it will be better for them when I die." He wished to say this but had not the strength to utter it. "Besides, why speak? I must act," he thought. with a look at his wife he indicated his son and said: "Take him away...sorry for him...sorry for you too...." He tried to add, "Forgive me," but said "Forego" and waved his hand, knowing that He whose understanding mattered would understand.

And suddenly it grew clear to him that what had been oppressing him and would not leave his was all dropping away at once from two sides, from ten sides, and from all sides. He was sorry for them, he must act so as not to hurt them: release them and free himself from these sufferings. "How good and how simple!" he thought. "And the pain?" he asked himself. "What has become of it? Where are you, pain?" He turned his attention to it.

At Deathbed!

2011-11-14T18:10:00.001-06:00

"Who would you like to be with when you are dying"?

I am very good in answering instantly to this type of questions but this took a while for me. Actually, I pondered for a day! I imagined myself dying on deathbed and thought about my siblings, close friends, cousins, relatives, even parents and my kids whom I thought I love most in my life - but I came to a very different answer!

I would not like to have many people around my deathbed while dying. I would like to have only one person whom I love from my heart and have full trust, to be there. Nothing can be more peaceful than that!!

As Ustaq Zauq said:

Kum honge is bisat pe hum jese badqimar

Jo chal hum chale, so nihaye't buri chale

Kirnain -2

2011-11-08T19:24:00.001-06:00

Main ne pehle bhi is blog pe likha hai (here): "One of the most 'finest' love story in Urdu is writtten by Shaifqur Rehman called KirnaiN". Zindagi main aksar aese mor aaye hain jub main ne almari se nikal ker is afsane ko phir parha hai. Aaj bhi aesa hi aik din tha......

"Shaffu bhayya ka dil kesa tha? jo na gamoN se jhuka, na aaftoN ne is per koi asar kiya. MaayusioN ke kese toofan aaye lekin use na hila sake.......

"Aur ab! - Ab bhi un ki wahi tanha zindagi hogi, be-kaif zindagi! lekin un ka chehra ab bhi roshan hoga. Shikayat ka aik lafz bhi un ke laboN per na aata hoga. MareezoN ka aadha dukh to woh apni meethi baatoN se dur ker dete hon ge. Rang ba-rang phooloN ka ab bhi shoq hoga. Baag main ab bhi subah subah seetiaN bajate hon ge"

"......Tab main ne socha ke ye ranj-o-gum sab waqti cheezaiN hain. Bilkul naa'paidaar! - Na to khushi hi dair tak rehti hai aur na udasi. Bulke aesi mehboob hastioN ki yaad hamesha ke liye dil maiN mehfooz rehti hai - aur aese masroor lamhoN ki yaad bhi - jo kabhi muskurahatoN main basar huwe the. Yahi zindagi ki weeranioN main rafiq banti hai. Sab kuch ujar jaane per bhi zindagi ki taarikiaN inhi kirnoN se jagmaga uththi haiN. Ye jhilmil jhilmil kerti hui piyari piyari kirnaiN"

Barhwan Khilari (The Twelfth Man)

2011-11-06T19:50:00.001-06:00

(One of my all time favorite poem - from Iftikhar Arif)

barhwan khilari bhi
kiya ajab khilari hai
khel hota rehta hai
shor machta rehta hai
daad parti rehti hai
aur woh alag sab se
intezar karta hai
aik aisi sa'at ka
aik aisay lamhey ka
jis main saniha ho jaaye
Phir woh khailne niklay
taaliyon ke jhurmat main
aik jumla-e-khush kun
aik naara-e-tehseen
us kay naam ho ja'aye
Sab khilariyon kay saath
woh bhi moutabar ho ja'aye

tum bhi Iftikhar Arif
barhwain khilari ho
intezar kartey ho
aik aisay lamhey ka
aik aisi saa'at ka
jis main hadisa ho ja'aye
jis main saniha ho jaye

Meals Ready!

2011-11-04T18:55:00.001-05:00

Worth watching short film! - A short tale of love!

Meals Ready (click)

Good news? Bad news?

2011-11-01T19:58:00.001-05:00

Over the years - I have learned that a small personality test determined a lot about a person. (Biased obviously).

If you ask a person - Do you want good news first? or bad news first?

Person who asks for good news first are usually more social, let it go, kind of careless, unplanned, happy lucky go, usually broke but simultaneously optimist and good friends - and a person who ask for bad news first are usually cautious, less confident, perfectionist, controlling but simultaneously hard working, intelligent, no non-sense and frugal people.

Its just 2 different flavors of people you live with. Nothing major!

Kiya tamasha hai! Kabse jaari hai?

2011-10-31T19:07:00.001-05:00

At times, life can be a real bitch.... but still its so lovely!
What a beautiful gem in Sajjad Ali's 'pakka' voice.

Saath kaati hai? ya guzari hai?

From "The Curious Case of Benjamin Button"

2011-10-25T23:56:00.000-05:00

One of the most classic scenes ever written in the history of Hollywood

"Way, The"

2011-10-23T22:43:00.000-05:00

Martin Sheen's new but not very advertised movie "The way" is more of an independent movie. It revolves around 4 characters who join the pilgrimage to Spanish city of Santiago de Compostela for their own various reasons under the folklore that said pilgrimage help spiritual salvation.

Martin sheen is carrying the burden and ashes of his dead son. He is first joined by a dutch man who loves food but fighting his over weight as his wife stopped sleeping with him. Later they found an angry Canadian woman who is a victim of domestic violence and is trying to give up the addiction of smoking but actually she is inside carrying the guilt of an abortion. Lastly, on the way they found an Irish writer who is suffering from writers' block but in actuality he hates his commercial job of writing for a travelers' magazine.

As the movie evolves, pilgrimage progresses and their interaction takes intense turn and as they fight their psychological issues and try to find meaning in their journey and life - realization comes to them that - It is not important to fight a particular thing in life. What makes it worthwhile is to share each other's burden and joy in life.

See trailer here

Windows (Aik Hikayat)

2011-10-22T10:57:00.000-05:00

A young couple moves into a new neighborhood.The next morning while they are eating breakfast, The young woman sees her neighbor hanging the Wash outside."That laundry is not very clean", she said."She doesn't know how to wash correctly. Perhaps she needs better laundry soap."

Her husband looked on, but remained silent.Every time her neighbor would hang her wash to dry, The young woman would make the same comments.

About one month later, the woman was surprised to see aNice clean wash on the line and said to her husband:"Look, she has learned how to wash correctly.I wonder who taught her this."

The husband said, "I got up early this morning and cleaned our windows".

Poverty and Human Bonding!

2011-10-18T09:02:00.000-05:00

One Awesome Art! (Beggar-Brothers) depicting human bonding in poverty.

I googled but could not find the original artist!

Mere Baba ke das (10) Baras!

2011-10-17T09:41:00.004-05:00

Main mere Baba ki jaan thi - jise log "Daddy's Girl" kehte hain. Meri umar 6 baras thi. Mera School ke "Class 1" ka pehla din tha - jub mere Baba ko heart attack huwa. Baba Bombay ki lilawati hospital ke ICU main the. Heart attack itna shadeed tha ke doctors ne saaf keh diya mere Baba nahi bacheN ge. Mere Chacha, hum dono bhai bahen ko jaldi jaldi tayyar ker ke hospital le gaye. Yun to bachhoN ko ICU main jaane ki ijazat nahi thi magar doctors kehte the Baba ki aaj aakhri raat hai. Hum dono ko Baba ke bistar ke paas jaane ki ijazat mil gai...

Main choti si bachhi thi. Pata nahi chal raha tha kiya ho raha hai. Bus itna maalum tha Baba marne wale hain. Mama kehti thi log marte nahi hain bus ooper chale jaate hain! main ne apni choti choti unglion se Baba ka haat thama to mujhe aesa laga mere Baba ne aankhain kholi ho aur mujhe mehsoos kiya ho - aur phir hum ko ICU se bahir le gaye.

Magar woh raat Baba ki aakhri raat nahi thi. Baba theek hone lage aur sahetyaab hoke ghar aa gaye. Aik din unhon ne meri Mama ko bataya: "Jub meri beti ki unglian mujeh mere haaton pe mehsoos hui to main ne apne Khuda se sirf ye dua maangi - ke aye Khuda - ye bacchi mere bagair nahi ji paaye gi. Mujeh sirf das baras aur de de ke ye zara samjhdar ho jaaye..Lagta hai Khuda ne meri sun li"

Tum jaante ho theek 10 baras baad jub meri college ke first year ka pehla din tha - mere Baba neend se baidar nahi huwe. Woh intiqal ker gaye.

Main ne na to aaj tak - apne Baba ko muaf kiya ke - bus maange to sirf das baras! Aur na hi mujeh tumhare us khuda se koi ragbat hai jo hum insoN se zindagi ka yun khel khelta hai...

Age 40

2011-10-15T07:57:00.000-05:00

About 6 years ago I wrote a one line post titled: 40 years. "Ye koi ittifaq to nahi ke Islam ke Muhammad ko nabuwwat 40 baras ki umer main mili". I did pick this post after conventional wisdom absorbed from world literature that a human attain intellectual maturity at age 40.

Beauty of Internet is that you meet smarter people than yourself! On my last post (On Belief) 2 such people commented. One was Adnan, an extremely talented kid from Toronto. Other was Aasem Bakhshi. Aasem mentioned on his blog the reference of Qurani ayat for the significance of age 40. Let me put his words here;

"According to Al-Quran 46:15, man attains strength at the age of 40. A few might take it literally but it is an age when the perceptual experience of reality has to be expressed by humans".

On Belief

2011-10-14T15:18:00.002-05:00

Interesting quote found on internet (Author ?)

"It takes more faith to believe there is no God than the believe there is a God".

On Human side of people!

2011-10-12T03:43:00.001-05:00

Steve Jobs died. Most of the people were sad including me. But this is a free country. It was shocking to see lot of negative comments about his life and personality on internet. I think, it was very mean! But beyond that one thing should be understood: After all we are humans and we all carry chips on our shoulders.

History is full of it. Gandhi slept naked with naked young girls under his own psychological pursuit to attain purity. Saadat Hasan Minto was an an alcoholic. Allama Iqbal was said to kill a prostitute and was able to get away with it! Einstein fathered an illegitimate child and is also rumored to be a womanizer. One of the most smart American president Bill Clinton had sexual relationship with other women. Same with Abraham Lincoln....and list goes on!

This is just to read as its important to understand great personalities as humans. It does not decrease the stature of their work!

On Disease and Spirituality!

2011-10-08T10:54:00.002-05:00

Mind blowing Russian author Fyodor Dostoevsky (1821-1881) was an epileptic. Its interesting how sometime minds are blessed:

"For several instants I experience a happiness that is impossible in an ordinary state, and of which other people have no conception. I feel full harmony in myself and in the whole world, and the feeling is so strong and sweet that for a few seconds of such bliss one could give up ten years of life, perhaps all of life. I felt that heaven descended to earth and swallowed me. I really attained god and was imbued with him. All of you healthy people don't even suspect what happiness is , that happiness that we epileptics experience for a second before an attack."

I am not going into any religious arguments here but it is said that Prophet Mohammad used to have similar attack before or at time of revelation from Allah!

Love and Women

2011-10-06T12:13:00.000-05:00

Aurat ke liye kubhi kubhi...... sirf saath rehna, uski baatain sunna aur chup rehna 'love making' se barh ker hota hai....zaroori to nahi har shaam bistar pe aakhir ho".

Sab se Bara Dukh? - 2

2011-10-05T12:01:00.000-05:00

Last year, I wrote a little post Sab se bara Dukh? Someone left an interesting comment:

"...mujhe aik bar mere susar (father i law) ne aik bat kahi jo main apse b share krna chahta hon... he said.. "beta, ap jantay hain k hum ko olad ka dukh maa baap k dukh se b barh k q mehsus hota ha?"..main khamosh rha to woh bolay.."Q k yeh hmara khameer ha, hmaray grand father (hazrat adam) k maa baap nahi thay, unko sirf oladd mili so unki fitrat mein sirf olaad k liye feelings bn gayen aur jo genetically aj tk hm sb insano mein forward ho rahi hain"... hence proved k "olad ka dukh wakeiye boht zalim hota ha" !!!

(Thanks Tahir)

Maan!

2011-10-02T23:30:00.000-05:00

"Tumhe pata hai 'Maan' kise kehte hain?"

"Trust ko?"

"Nahi! Trust to bohat chota lafz hai. Shayed angrezi main is lafz ke hum-palla koi lafz hai hi nahi! Jub kisi ke liye koi aehsas - aap ke andar, bahir, shaoor, la-shaoor bulke tahtash-shaoor - main yaqeen bulke iman ki had tuk chaya ho - magar khud aap ko us ki khabar na ho - aur tub khabar ho jub woh aehsaas aik dum se tute aur khud poora aap ko jhanjor jaaye, bulke tor jaaye. Us aehsaas ke liye shayed abhi koi lafz ijad hi nahi hua!"

"The Help", 9/11 and Hope

2011-10-01T00:37:00.000-05:00

You guys may be tired of my obsession with off beat movies but I see them as an important intellectual endeavors. So, I went to see movie - "The Help"! Though it was a story of 'blacks' and 'whites' from the civil rights movement time, it reminded me of today's post 9/11 America and 'muslims' in it.

It was an incredible story of human bonds beyond color and social status! and its reaction towards an unfair society. This is a story of hope. Change is inevitable. It remind us again that - discrimination on the basis of skin color, gender, religion and others is nothing but a mask of underlying eternal tussle of good and evil! Life goes on. Only thing matter - on which side of the fence you live your life!

Trailer here

Note: Emma stone proved herself in this movie as an actress

On Cooking!

2011-09-26T05:35:00.000-05:00

"Tum roz khana banati ho?"

"Haan! Meri dadi kehti thiN - jis ghar main roz khana pakta hai - wahan khud ba khud - barkatain nazil hoti haiN, aur piyar khulus ka raj ho jata hai. Jis ghar main chulha thanda par jaaye wahan nafrataiN aur tanhaiyaN dera daal leti hain."

On Tipping!

2011-09-24T19:00:00.000-05:00

Make a habit to tip well, even when you are not sure. Get assure, it will make you a better person.

One baby grave!

2011-09-21T16:05:00.004-05:00

I am not a regular visitor to graveyards except if I have to go to a funeral. Last week, I had to go to a funeral of one relative. After rites were over I took a detour to read plates (kutbe) of various graves around. I saw graves of all ages but one grave caught my eye. It was a grave of a 20 days old baby from year 2006 but many new stuffed animals and flowers were lying on it, like it was visited recently and kutba read:

For moments in our arms,

Forever in our hearts.....

I stayed there for few moments. Ye Aulad ka dukh bhi bara harami hai, saari zindagi chen nahi lene deta

Sense of Entitlement!

2011-09-20T16:40:00.001-05:00

I am not an option, neither a choice.. I am a PRIORITY!!.. (anonymous) - found on Facebook

A Christmas Carol

2011-09-18T23:11:00.000-05:00

Charles Dickens remains the greatest of English literature. I think at psychological level 2 things makes him the greatest of all. Firstly, at the end of his writings he leaves reader with sense of happiness. Secondly, he can see simple things in life from an unusual perspective (true for all great men).

Recently, I read one of his famous work "A Christmas Carol". Conventional teaching and wisdom to all humans is to forget the past, not to worry about future and to learn to live in the present. Charles Dickens argue against it and says that - for balanced and happy life - you need to live simultaneously with your past, present and future as portrayed by characters of 3 visiting ghosts in the story. Sweet memories of past, living happily in present and keeping optimistic picture of future makes a good life.

It is so interesting to read 2 contrast characters of same person (central figure in story named Scrooge) - one with nothing but all ignorance and other after enlightenment of past, present and future. I felt like I am reading my own life and I think what makes this story great and famous as each reader feels the same way. We all have 2 ways to live life - either with sadness or with happiness. We make the choice and Charles Dickens teaches us how to do it.

You can read the full text here

Seven Days in Utopia!

2011-09-09T13:29:00.000-05:00

As I love off beats movies, first I wanted to write my impression about Pakistani movie "Bol" but than decided to write about a less known movie "Seven Days in Utopia" - kind of a Bible belt movie but still worth mentioning.

It is an interesting plot of an young golf player who miserably play in one of Texas open championship and take a hike away from town and end up in a small town call Utopia, Texas (Yes! There is a real town near San Antonio by this name). There he met another previous golfer who teaches him not only the right way to play golf but on the way teaches him lessons of life. Some of the lessons were very powerful like - first thing in life is to do anything with conviction and how without a conviction, a simple statement, even from a passerby, can knock you off the ground. Great things can be achieve with regular rhythms (routine) of life with patience. Life will give you what you picture in your brain! You have to "See it, Feel it and Trust it" (SFT). Life is like flying a plane which can encounter any mishap any time - key is to be calm even crashing! Nothing is an accident in life. And, you make your enemies friends by playing the sports they like! You keep eye on field not on outcome. Sometime you may have to start from again rather than getting drag further into same mess as you don't have to prove yourself to anyone! Sometime you may need a different putter to play the shot! At the end it doesn't matter to get ball in the hole! What matters is to bury your lies and live by truth.

Trailerhere

Ignorance and Arrogance

2011-09-07T18:45:00.000-05:00

If you are an ignorant - it's OK. If you are an arrogant -I can even deal with it. But if you are both an ignorant and an arrogant at same time - let me tell you, people are done with you.

Safa aur Marwah!

2011-09-01T16:04:00.000-05:00

Tum jaante ho - "Safa" aur "Marwah" ke beech main dorne ka kiya matlab hota hai.

Ye kahani sirf Bibi Hajira aur Hazrat Ismail ki nahi hai - bulke ye istaa'rah (nishani) hai is baat ka ke - Inssaan ki saari Zindagi khushi aur dukh ke beech chalti hai. Isi se guzar ker insaan zindagi ka maqsad aur noor pata hai. Ye 'ritual' hai sabar-o-shukar ki taalim ka!

Laal Baig

2011-08-31T14:24:00.000-05:00

Another gem of writing from Banu Apa. (Total Time about half hour)

"Hum khud apni mataye-garoor ko apni ana ki aag main jala ker maar dete hain aur phir saari zindagi uspe laal baig ke tarah reengte rehte hain"

On Eid Day

2011-08-30T09:44:00.003-05:00

Khuda Quran main kehta hai ke woh hame aazmaye ga - dar se, bhook se, maal se, jaan se aur phaloN (aulad) ki kami se (2:155).

Kubhi kubhi sochta hun - zaroori to nahi ke - ye dar, bhook, maal, jaan aur phalon ki kami hamari apni ho. Iska ye matlab bhi to ho sakta hai ke - kisi aur ke dar ko hum kitna baantte hain, kisi aur ki bhook ko hum kitna mehsoos kerte hain. Kisi ke maal pe badnazri to nahi kerte. Kisi aur ki jaan ko kese bachate hain aur apni aulad ko kitna is qabil banate hain ke woh kisi aur ke kaam aaye!

Baqol Ashfaq Ahmad: Allah hame asani de aur saath asani taqseem kerne ka sharf bhi de!

Hum Baray Ho Gaye!

2011-08-26T17:07:00.001-05:00

Aik hulki phulki magar khubsurat nazam. Shared from Rida's blog. Poet unknow.

Hum baray ho gaye
Muskurahat, tabassum, hansi, qehqahay
Sub kay sub kho gaye
Hum baray ho gaye

Zimma-e-dari musalsal nibhatay rahay
Apnay dukh soch kar roay tanhai main
Mehfilon main magar muskuratay rahay
Kitnay logon se ab mukhtalif ho gaye
Hum baray ho gaye

Aur kitni musafat hai baqi abhi
Zindagi ki hararat hai baqi abhi
Wo jo hum se baray hain salamat rahain
In sabhi ki zarorat hai baqi abhi
Jo thapak kar sulatay thay khud so gaye
Hum baray ho gaye

Khatm honay ko ab zindagani hui
Janay kub aai aur kya jawani hui
Jo haqeqat thi ab wo kahani hui
Manzilain mil gaein humsafar kho gaye
Hum baray ho gaye

Updated Fairy tale!

2011-08-20T17:56:00.001-05:00

Last week we watched new Hollywood flick "Friends With Benefits". On lighter note it was a good watch to relax (though R-Rated). Just sharing one line from movie - Mother to Jamie (Mila Kunis):

"You need to update your fairy tale. You don't need a prince on horse carriage but a partner to face this world".

Also this movie portrayed NY and spirit of NY so well!
Trailer here

Boys' sexploitation

2011-08-15T08:52:00.002-05:00

Few days ago, I posted my review on off beat bollywood movie "I AM" (here). Rohit is one heck of an intelligent boy from Mumbai. He send me his review. One thing striking in his review is statistics of child abuse back home:

".............The piece, “I am Abhimanyu”, is another very important one. This subject of Child sexual abuse needs more discussion in public domain. This is one area that is mostly shoved under the carpet, in Indian homes. In a survey conducted by government of India, it was found that 53.22% of children being surveyed were sexually abused, out of which 52.9% were boys, a number way higher than the girls (Source –Study on Child Abuse, India 2007 by Ministry of Women and Child Development, Govt. of India. More details are also available on Wikipedia). It is important that we build an atmosphere of confidence in our homes so that children can report such issues at least to someone......"

Also his take on movie is way different than mine (I loved his take on story of Megha). You can read his whole review here

Mid August!

2011-08-14T01:51:00.004-05:00

On our independence days. I am sure most of you have seen this viral video but I think it would be an important post for this day as we all in perdes cant take des(h) out of us, no matter how hard we try!

Karthik calling Karthik

2011-08-12T01:42:00.003-05:00

I was recommended this movie long time ago but remained unopened on my desk for months. Finally I saw this flick and loved it. I have written on this blog before about my interest in Schizophrenia.

'Karthik calling Karthik' starring Farhan Akhtar (also producer) is an off beat movie for which it is said that in an effort to do his role, he isolated himself in real life and turned off his phone. He also learned to solve the Rubik's Cube, Which was shown as hobby of central character - and at the end Farhan did a superb job of a schizophrenic.

This movie superbly deal with the denial, bi-polar roller coaster, intelligence, self manipulation and self-mutilation of a schizophrenic person. This movie reminded me of all schizophrenic patients and people I have met in life. If you like off beat flicks watch it.

Add.: It was more like a 'mutiple personality disorder' than Schizophrenia.....and at one point in movie they brought this point too...but I guess for the sake of movie, it was portrayed simply as Schizophrenia.

Faiz on Prison, Burqa and Confinement

2011-08-09T23:32:00.002-05:00

I see this now applied to whole Pakistan's present day society.

".....I think I have written before that prison life does accentuate petty selfishness. I have never understood that psychology of purdah women as well as I do now. It is the normal psychology of a prisoner. I understand the pettinesses, the preoccupation with small grievances that seem to occupy the whole universe, the oblivion to larger impersonal issues, the selfishness and the self-pity, the spitefulness and the temper, the silliness and the servility, spells of paralysis and feverish activity - all this is the usual concomitant of suppressed and confined living and not very easy for free people to understand......"

(In a letter -dated March 7, 1952 - to his wife during his prison of famous 'Rawalpindi sazish case' published in Pakistan recently by his daughter Salima Hashmi. You can read full letter here)

Ifti!

2011-08-07T21:34:00.003-05:00

(Few days ago Pakistani poet Iftikhar Naseem passed away. I heard this news while away from town. It took a while to absorb his death).

Ifti se meri pehli mulaqat Chicago ki 'clark street' ke aik restaurant main ittafaqan hui. Main Pakistan se naya naya wareed huwa tha aur Chicago main residency ker raha tha. Aik din main yunhi 'Lincoln park' aur 'Clark Street' pe gasht ker raha tha. America ka 'euphoria' tha magar jeb main paise nahi the! Main aik resturant ke bahir khare ho ker yunhi menu parh raha tha ke mujhe andar se kisi desi shaks ne ishara ker ke andar aane ko kaha. Ye Ifti tha!

Ifti ne yunhi rasman do char baataiN ki aur phir aik dum se poocha: 'Peeche kis kis ko chor aaye ho?' Main ne jawab diya: 'Amma Abba ko'. Ifti ne wahiN napkin pe aik sher likh diya

Taaq per juzdan main lipti DuaiN reh Gain
chal diye bete safar per, ghar main MaaiN reh gain

Ye to mujeh barsoN baad pata laga ke ye khud Ifti ka sher tha. Ab bhi Ifti ki likhai mere saamne dhari hai. Main jub tuk Chicago main raha, Ifti ke naye naye chehre saamne aate gaye. Ifti ailania 'Gay' tha. Kai log Ifti se meri dosti ka sunte to mujeh kehte kiun badnaami kerwate ho magar Ifti ne mujeh kubhi kisi tarah se kahin bhi 'seduce' kerne ki koi koshish nahi ki.

Ifti ke hawale se meri zindagi main kai haseen yaadaiN hain. Ifti ke hawale se hi meri Kaifi Aazmi, Shabana Aazmi, Jawed Akthar aur kai aur logon se mulaqat hui. Woh raat main kese bhool sakta hun jun hum ne Michigan lake pe waqye Ifti ke Condo pe Ahmad Faraz se unhi ki zabani kai nazmain ghazalaiN suni. Faraz sahab bhi us din saroor main the. Raat gaaye ye silsila chalta raha. Us pe Ifti ke latife! Ajeeb hans mukh aadmi tha bulke saala poora comedian tha. Apne hi latifoN per apni tond hila hila ke sab se ziyada hasta! Zindagi ka kitna hi gambhir masala ho, ifti ko us main mizah ka pehlu dikh jata. Bala ka hazir jawab tha. (Read Dr. Azra Raza's article on him "Mr. Wrong"!).

Magar Ifti dil ka bara naram tha. Jub uske ghar jao koi naya aadmi sir chupaye betha hai aur Ifti us ke liye kaam dhundh raha hai. Ifti ne aik billi paal rakhi thi. Mujeh billioN se dar lagta tha. Main uske haan jata to Ifti billi ko apne paas hi rakhta. Ifti shuru se hi 'bagi' tha. Pakistan chorne se pehle us ne ayub khan ke khilaf chalne wali tehreek main goli khai, jail gaya. Allah! jaane kitne logon ko is baat ka ilm hai. Isi 'bagawat' ke confusion main woh 'Gay' bun gaya! Hum use koi bhi naam dain magar woh khud ko 'juggler' kehta! ke raat din ko balance kerne main hi mera waqt kut jaata hai.

Ifti se meri do dafa laraii hui. Pehli baar Shaifqur-Rehman ke hawale se kahin koi baat ho rahi thi. Ifti ne kaha woh Urdu ke sab se bare 'satirist' hain. Main ne kaha main nahi maanta. Mere khayal main Shafiqur Rehman ne mizah zaroor likha magar bunyaadi tor pe woh aik rumanwi likhari the. Ifti ko bara bura laga. Dusri baar, kahin koi punjabi mushaira ho raha tha. Main ne ifti se kaha, Pakistan ke jo halat hain wahan aik Urdu ghazal bhi parh do. Ifti biphar gaya. Kehne laga kisi ko punjabi se takleef hai to apne paas rakhe.

Ifti se mujeh do shikayataiN hain. Aik to ye ke us ne bohat ziyada likha! Jo uske zahan main aata kagaz pe likh deta aur chaap bhi deta. Is se kai jagah bharti ka saman jamah ho gaya. Dusri ye ke us ne shayeri pe to khub dhiyan diya magar uska kamal afsana-nigari tha. JinhoN ne us ki 'short stories' parhi hain woh jaante hain ke Ifti kis qadar kamal ka afsana-nigar tha. magar saari duniya use shayeri ke hawale se jaanti hai. Aik baar main ne Ifti ko apne do afsane "Hasbe-Aarzoo" aur "Jinu Abraham" diye. Usne zaban theek ker ke kaha lao chaap dun! Main ne kaha nahi bhai mujeh nahi chapwane - ye sirf apni 'psychotherapy' ke liye likhe hain. Kehne laga mujeh de do. Barson uske paas pare rahe magar meri baat ka lihaz kerte huwe na chaape.

Hassas aadmi tha is liye 'brain hemorrhage' se mar gaya! Baqol Ghalib

Haq Magfirat kare, ajab azad mard tha!

Resham Apa

2011-08-04T17:26:00.004-05:00

Resham Apa se main koi 20 baras baad mila. Ab to unki umar 65 ke lagh bagh ho chali ho gi. Hamilton (Toronto) main kisi ghar main aaya (maid/nanny) ka kaam kerti hain.

Resham Apa ki kahani na to koi afsana nigar likhe ga - aur na hi kisi ko us se dilchaspi ho gi - magar dukh ki aik kasak kahin hawaoN maiN terti rahe gi.

Resham apa jawani se hi bari khubsurat thi. Mohallae ke larkoN se tang aa ker un ke amma abba ne 16 baras ki umar main hi biha diya. Shadi ke baad aik baad ooper neeche 5 bachhe paida ho gaye. 1971 ki jang main balwaioN (miscreants) ne unke shohar ko maar diya. Luti lutai Resham apa Karachi aain. RishtedaroN ne thori bohat madad ker ke - landhi ya korangi ke ilaqe main aik chota sa makan kiraye pe kerwa diya. Resham apa ne gharoN main maasi ka kaam kerna shuru ker diya. Bachhe sarkari school jaane lage!

Resham apa jawan thiN, khubsurat thin aur akeli thin. Jis ghar pe woh khana pakati thiN wahan ki maalkan ke beta un pe aashiq ho gaya. Usne Resham apa ko bachhe chor ke bhagne ki targeeb di. Resham apa uske behkawe main aa gain. Lurke ne dono ka passport banwaya, America ka visa lagwaya (was easy in 70s). Aik raat unhoN ne bachhoN ko bhai ke ghar chora aur lurke ke saath airport nikal gain. ......Magar airport paunchi to bachhon ki shaqlaiN saamne aa gain aur woh airport se wapas laut aain. ......

Resham apa ne maasi ka kaam phir se shuru ker diya aur Zindagi ka phayya ghumta raha. Resham Apa ki tarah un ki 3 betiaN bhi khubsurat thiN. Achhi jagah biha gain. Aik lurka accident main faut ho gaya. Dusre lurke ne MBA ker liya aur Canada aa gaya. Usne apni ma ko sponsor ker ke Canada bula liya magar shaadi ke baad bahu ne saas ko ghar main rakhne se inkaar ker diya. Suna he beta Vancouver chala gaya hai aur ab Maa se la-taaluq hai.

Reshma apa ne masi bun ke 5 bachhe bare kiye, zindagi guzari, apni khawishoN ka gala ghota - magar ab bhi maasi ka kaam ker rahi hain. Main un se mila to mera beta mere saath tha. Use dekh ke unki aankhoN main aansu aa gaye. Shayed unhe apna beta yaad aa gaya.......Us aik aansu ki bund main 65 baras ka dukh dhalak gaya...

Main ne aap se kaha tha na ke: Resham Apa ki kahani na to koi afsana nigar likhe ga - aur na hi kisi ko us se dilchaspi ho gi - magar dukh ki aik kasak kahin hawaoN maiN terti rahe gi.

EI and Ethics!

2011-08-02T19:49:00.006-05:00

In last 15 years one term became very popular called "Emotional Intelligence" (EI). I believe I have talked about it before on this blog here. Personally, I was shocked when few years ago I was tested during my interview at one of the huge health care chain.

Couple of weeks ago while in travel I picked one magazine and encountered an interesting article. Author was an Ottawa based freelance journalist Jennifer Campbell. She argued about the dark side of EI with references of some credible studies. Allegedly people with high EI can be very manipulative and can harm or use people around to fulfill their own needs and gain benefits. Keeping ethics aside, they are worried only about their social climb. In nutshell, people with EI are only valuable if they come with values of honesty, loyalty and trustworthiness.

(I tried but was unable to find electronic version of her article).

Past!

2011-07-31T12:16:00.003-05:00

During my move 2 years ago, I lost my few precious diaries which counted golden years of my medical school and later residency. It made me upset but than I recalled Mirza Ghalib. Large part of his work was destroyed during 1857 war. When his publisher told him about this, rather than getting upset he replied: "Galat-kaariaN jal gai jawani ki, Acha hi huwa. Bhool jao Meer sahab"!

Duboya mujh ko hone ne, na hota main to kiya hota

A Quote!

2011-07-20T19:45:00.000-05:00

‎"I don't want to believe, I want to know". - Carl Sagan

9 tips from a dying man!

2011-07-12T00:58:00.006-05:00

Khushwant Singh is known to every person who has little bit of interest in Urdu literature. He is almost 96 years old. One of his article has become very popular where he parted 9 pearls of wisdom about how to live (and die) in a worthy and practical way.

Read his full article here

Soul and body

2011-07-11T00:12:00.003-05:00

And it amazed me the most when a 25 year old asked me this question:

"Sir! What you think? Its a soul which get designate first to get born and awarded a partciular race, gender and body or is it after an ovum concepts a sperm and later soul is awarded to it?"

I doubt anybody knows the real answer but the level of curiosity at this age was 'hairankun".

And while he was dying...

2011-07-08T13:50:00.005-05:00

Kuch mohbattain insaan ki khud apni maut se bhi bari hoti hain

'Please check on my son. My son was up there by himself.'

Read the true full incident here

Life is a B****

2011-07-05T20:22:00.004-05:00

Overheard in Walmart (in Urdu): "Beta! School khulne ka waqt aane do hum sab kuch khareedain ge. Abhi ammi abbu ke paas bilkul bhi paise nahi hain". - It hurts!

Thoughts on cupped hands

2011-07-03T19:21:00.006-05:00

Aisha is probably one of the oldest and certainly the 'finest' blog writer in desi blog world. Its very easy to blog pictures, uselessinfo.com, political opinions, videos, summer trips etc. but to write a meaningful, balanced, smooth and flawless post is another thing. She sits at top of my blog roll. As this blog is all about 'Zindagi", here is one of her recent post which I enjoyed thoroughly. On side note, she is one of the most voracious reader I ever know - which explains a lot!

It's a silly story but true. In fifth grade walking to school I thought about prayer and faith and felt slightly doubtful. God, I prayed as I walked, if you exist, for real-you will make my teacher absent for a whole week. I felt fairly confident this would not happen as my teacher reminded us at every opportunity about her perfect attendance record, how she had only taken two days off in ten years. I went to class, sat at my desk, and then, my teacher cleared her throat and told us she was taking the next week off. She told us why but I don't remember the reasons, I just remember sitting at my desk, my mouth parted in shock as everyone high fived and grinned at one another. A miracle, I thought. God, you really answered my prayer. Yes, it sounds silly, but for so many years that moment buoyed me when the waters were rocky, did my prayer cause it? Did I get inspired to pray for a thing that would happen anyways? I didn't know but the fact that it happened before my eyes gave me certainty in a being greater than us, and of prayers, that they are answered. I loved the feeling of inner peace and certainty I had- someone was listening, someone was answering, a big warm hug from above."

You can read full post here

"I AM"

2011-07-01T18:21:00.002-05:00

"I AM" is a new Indian movie which is completely off beat. Certainly this is not a movie you can watch with family (due to profanity and mature theme involved) but it makes a lot of sense.

"I AM" is actually a collection of 4 characters who behaved or appeared completely out of whack for the society but that's what movie is all about - to explain that - there are always reasons for people to behave "weird"! We get judgemental very quickly without knowing people's life and background. Director was smart to show us that even these 4 characters were judgemental about each other without realizing that how weird they appear to others.

1. Afia (Nandita Das) wants to get her "own baby" and goes to sperm bank. Later we realizes that she wanted it normally via normal marriage but her husband leaves her for other woman leaving her completely shattered!

2. Megha (Juhi Chawla) hells from Kashmir but is a strong women and full of venom against Kashmiri Muslims. Later we learn that actually she is reacting against her family's forced evacuation and assassination. She tries to bury softness of her heart but her heart never gives up to the plight of local Muslims there despite so muchof her own sufferings.

3. Abhimanyu is an extremely manipulative guy who equally manipulate men and women for his own sake. He is a slick talker and an A**H***. But at the end of his story we feel like hugging him after knowing that how he was sexually abused by his step father all along, changing his personality for ever!

4. Omar (Rahul Bose) is a completely unconfidant spineless gay man who is trying to hide his weak personality by growing moustache! His story is the most shocking and really ends movie in climax. Director was able to shock the viewer up to bone. Omar, just few months ago, despite been gay, was a playful, confident and outgoing successful professional who gets trapped into a scam by corrupt police and forcibly robbed not of money but as well of his dignity!

Message is - Don't be judgemental.

Firaun aur Hum!

2011-06-29T12:14:00.004-05:00

Saari duniya firaun (pharaoh) ko bura kehti hai magar main nahi kehta!

Firaun poora din khudaii ka dawa ker ke raat apne Allah ke huzur hazir hota, girgira ke muaafi maangta aur naadim ho ker so jaata.

Hum to aur bhi gaye guzre hain...Subah Allah ka naam le ker uthte hain, din bhar khudaii ke fa'el (acts) kerte hain aur raat apne zameer pe koi bhi bojh mehsoos kiye bagair khawabe-khargosh main kho jaate hain!

Mystery of Lucky Penny

2011-06-27T08:15:00.003-05:00

I believe in fortune cookie. My daughter strongly believe in lucky Penny. She make sure I keep her given lucky penny. I found it strange that you seldom find dime, nickle or quarter but you will frequently find penny at unusual places at unusual times. I am sure people don't throw them for purpose. Explain this to me.

Tsunami

2011-06-26T12:18:00.016-05:00

Is blog pe "Dreams" (khawab) pe kai post hain. You can call it my own psychotherapy. Urdu ke aik bare adeeb 'Mumtaz Mufti' apne bistar ke sarhane kitab pencil rakha kerte the aur apne saare khawab - is se pehle ke bhool jaayain - likh liya kerte the. Unka kehna tha: "Khawab kuch batain na batain, kam az kam andar ki zaat ka pata to dete hain".

Kuch khawab is qadar 'personal' aur 'intense' hain ke bayan nahi kiye jaa sakte (aur kerne bhi nahi chahiye) - magar dusre kuch khawab yahan blog pr naqal ker leta hun. 'Interestingly' kuch khawab (jo us waqt to samjh na aaye magar) aage chal ker zindagi ke waaqiyat ka waze ishara ya tambih (warning) sabit huwe. Aese hi aik khawab ki roodad likhta hun.

Main kisi 'school' ya kisi 'community activity' ka aik 'teacher' hun. Hum sab kuch bachhon ko aik darya kinare picnic manane le jaate hain. Wahan har 'teacher' ko bachoon ka aik aik 'group' milta hai. Mere 'group' main chaar bachhe hain jin ki shaqlain to mujhe waze tor per yaad hain magar meri asal zindagi se unka koi taaluq nahi. Hum sab saahil kinare aik dari (carpet) daal ke beth jaate hain. Us roz bachhe apne saath aik aik khilona le ker aaye hain. Main bachho se kehta hun ke aaj sab aik dusre ka khilona adal badal kar khelain ge - taake zindagi 'share' ker ke guzarne ka sabaq haasil ho... Aas paas dusre groups apni 'activities' main masroof hain................

.........Aur phir meri nazar aasman ki taraf utthti hai to 300/400 feet unchi aik 'Tsunami' wave saamne nazar aati hai. Is se pehle ke main sab ko khabardar kerta - woh laher hum per aa guzarti hai. Main aik 'pipe' ko pakrta hun. paani mujh pe guzar raha hai. main paani se bachnne ke liye saans rokta hun. Mujeh bachhoN ka bhi khayal aa raha hai. Us guzarte azab ka aik aik lamha mujhe mehsoos hota hai. Saans rokne se mera dum ghoot raha hai ......

..........aur phir us dum ghutne ke aehsaas se meri aankh khul jaati hai.

Aik qayamat hui bedaar, khuda kher kare

Haram ki kamaii!

2011-06-18T22:33:00.032-05:00

It is said that vulture is one of the most intelligent bird since birth but her genes have been designed to feed only corpses (as a measure to keep ecosystem healthy by all mighty). Despite its all intelligence he cant get away from his induced nature.

Similarly I found that all creatures and particularly humans have some innate nature, induced deep down in their DNA - which never changed despite their level of knowledge, social status or environment. The right word is called "khaslat" in Urdu. In this regard I always recall Qudratullah Shahab's "Shahab-nama" in which he describes the darknesses of contemporary international political leaders.

As Ataul Haq Qasmi once brilliantly said: "Tumhare bachhe bare aadmi bane na bane - magar bus ye koshish zaroor karo ke woh achhe aadmi banaiN".

Bare hone main aur achhe hone main aik umar ka fasla hai. Mera ye Iman hai ke agar aap haram ki kamaii khate ho to aap ki aulad ki genes bhi haram ki ho jaati hai.

I strongly advise my friends and students to read 'Raja Gidh' from Banu Qudsia.

Salute to Dollywood!

2011-06-13T10:01:00.006-05:00

As summer vacation kicked in, last weekend I took my kids to theme park in Tennessee named Dollywood. Its a pretty descent park with good rides. But what really impressed me at this park - which was different from all other national theme parks was - most of their employees were senior citizens. Park was running as efficiently as any other theme park. Rather they were more courteous to people than many young people at other theme parks. (and I have been to plenty of theme parks in USA).

I always bragged to friends about respect and care for elderly people in our eastern culture but over time I am seeing reverse phenomenon. My hats off to this thought from Dollywood to keep senior citizens in work force (if they want to), providing self respect, self esteem and be productive members of society. It was worth mentioning - at least for me.

Ranj Se khugar huwa insaaN....

2011-06-11T22:01:00.003-05:00

Few time ago, I was at Lake Lure in North Carolina. It is an interesting and a very beautiful place. While boating at lake our guide told us few interesting things like it is 'cross' shaped and there is a church and cemetery buried below the lake and local people said to hear church bells at night etc. but another interesting thing is that lake is only one and half feet for a while from beach/shore but later suddenly first dropped to 55 feet and than to 135 feet. He said: 'It scares people as we go further towards the middle of lake but I fail to understand as there is no difference after you are drowned more than 10 feet"!

So true! It reminded me of Mirza Ghalib: Mushkilain mujh per pari itni ke asaN ho gain.

All mighty has created human or rather all creatures' mind and soul unique in the sense that after a while pain and suffering gets plateau - or may be even bell-shapped. It has no linear relationship afterwards.

The Great Gatsby

2011-06-06T09:21:00.002-05:00

It took me a while to absorb the beauty of F. Scott Fitzgerald's "The Great Gatsby" - and to understand that why it became a milestone novel in American literature. (It took Americans themselves many years to appreciate this work after his death). While I was finishing last pages of novel - tears floated in my eyes and I had to close the book to understand the emotional life and psych of its central character Gatsby. What amaze me more than anything is that he wrote this legendary novel at the tender age of only 29. He died at age of 44. No wonder many very sensitive and good people die early like Nasir Kazmi, Parveen Shakeer, Mustafa Zaidi and others.

There is so much written about this novel (you can google), I will just write my perspective shortly in Urdu as I felt this story is not based in America of 1925 but its a tale of India or Pakistan in year 2011.

'Gatsby' aik aesa kirdar hai - jise duniya ne kuch nahi diya magar usne sirf mohabbatain hi baanti. Ye kahani hamare ikhlaqi iqdaar ke us zawal ki hai- jisme aik saada dil shkas jeeta hai. 'Gatsby' zindagi ko bagair kisi muzahayemat (resistence) ke wese hi accept ker leta hai jese woh use milti hai - magar woh phir bhi halat ko behtar banane ki koshish kerta hai. Us ka dil mohabbat se pur hai. Woh badalti duniya ke saath chalne ki koshish kerta hai - magar uske chaaroN taraf daulat, anaa, be-wafaai, jhoot, aur munafiqat ki kaali chadar hai. Us main aurat se mohabbat kerne ka jazba to hai magar aurat ki be-wafaai ko samjhne ki 'chip' hi nahi. Use to dhang se jhoot bolna bhi nahi aata. Woh yunhi logon pe bharosa ker leta hai.

Gatsby un logon ka kirdar hai - jo hamare aas paas baste hain - hamari aankhon ke saamne - magar hamare 'blind spots' unhe dekh nahi paate. F. Scott Fitzgerald ka kamal yahi hai ke woh jhoot aur fareb ki dhund main - hame sache, meethe aur piyare logon ka chehra dikhata hai!

Achha writer novel ke shuru aur aakhir main poora 'theme' kuch lafzon main samo deta hai. I will put those 2 quotes:
"In my younger and more vulnerable years my father gave me some advice that I’ve been turning over in my mind ever since. 'Whenever you feel like criticizing any one,' he told me, 'just remember that all the people in this world haven’t had the advantages that you’ve had.'..

"...They were careless people, Tom and Daisy — they smashed up things and creatures and then retreated back into their money or their vast carelessness, or whatever it was that kept them together, and let other people clean up the mess they had made. . . ."

You can read novel here

Ma ki Bad-Dua?

2011-06-02T22:31:00.008-05:00

Posted as described

(Episode 1)

Us ne mujh se ye kaha...

"How can that even happen? I had no reason to lost my case. It was 'my hard earned' money. It was at least $ 300,000 and if you count legal interest on it, its about half million dollars. Even their attorney was sure, they will lost but jury went against and we lost. I could have paid my son's college. Its very depressing to see my own hard earned money to whisk away in front of me. I had best lawyers' firm in town and even its hard for them to comprehend why we lost..."

(Episode 2)

"Mujeh to yun lagta hai bete aur bahu pe bojh hun. Yahan 'basement' main pari rehti hun. Yahin pe kitchen, bathroom aur bistar hai. Din main aik dafa bhi ooper chali jaun to bahu ke tewar badal jaate hain. Abhi woh saare 'Disney' ghum aaye. Main 'maid' ke sahare pari rahi. Mujeh kaunsa 'Disney' jana tha magar main ne bete se kaha:-

"Neeche microwave kharab ho gaya hai. Naya lagwa do. Khana garam kerna parta hai".

Us ne jhirak ke mana ker diya: "amma aap ko microwave kiya kerna hai. Yunhi kha liya karain".

Yaqeen karo! gori naukrani apne ghar se purana microwave le aayi mere liye.

Main khud apni nazron main gir gai ke $100 ke microwave ke liye yun bete ke aage girgirana para.

Bus dua kerti hun jald mere Allah ka bulawa aa jaye".

Playing with Fire!

2011-05-31T11:57:00.000-05:00

(I found following simple observation from Dr. Steve Stephens (here) interesting and so frequent and obvious in most relationships - both for men and women - particularly in today's world.

"Porn is a serious danger to most men, implanting unrealistic visual and sexual expectations; romance novels and some movies and TV shows can also be risky for many women, implanting unrealistic romantic expectations." (From his book 'Lost in Translation')

Related post: Divorcing on 5th Anniversary

On 'Mental Discipline'

2011-05-29T00:47:00.002-05:00

Dan Ariely is one of my favorite read (here). He is a behavioral economist. In his work one theme is consistent - We humans are irrational and we consistently make silly stupid mistakes but discipline, hard work and endeavour to reform pays off. I love his first part and always find solace after making mistakes but can't keep up with second part. Saari zindagi guzar jaati hai magar amal raasikh nahi hota.

Mental discipline - hardest horizon to reach!

Qanaat!

2011-05-26T08:39:00.001-05:00

Over upcoming long weekend I am planning to visit my Godmother. I called her before hand to ask if I should bring anything specific or desi, as she now lives in a "non-desi" rural town. Her instant answer was a lesson for me: "Beta! zaroorat to kisi bhi cheez ki nahi hai wagerna poora shahr bhi le aao to kum hai".

"Everything Must Go"

2011-05-21T13:45:00.004-05:00

Interesting new Hollywood movie came out - “Everything must go”. It’s a very simple, low budget, bitter sweet, sad but a funny movie. It’s a story of one good but alcoholic man - though he is constantly trying to get over with his problem.

…..And ‘one bad day’ he gets fired from his job. As he reaches home, he comes to know that not only his wife has left him but has changed locks of house, took her stuff and threw all his stuff in front lawn. She has cancelled all credit cards, cell phone service and has stopped all bank accounts. His car from company has taken back in which he has all his good clothing. So, in a day – he is homeless in front yard of his house. Movie is all about – how he dealt with this situation – simultaneously fighting with his alcohol issue.

City allows him only 5 days to have stuff at front yard with the loop of making Garage Sale. This garage sale part is most funny and makes you laugh. In any case, in his new circumstances, he makes new friends. His discussion about “being normal” with one friend is interesting! He realizes that stuff we collect as possessions - souvenir, books, records etc. - and even bad memories should let go. He recalls forgotten good friends.

He gifts a lot of his precious collections to people who need it. Despite in the midst of all this madness he never let go his inner good self and at the end, he founds a fortune cookie saying: “All is not lost yet”!

See trailer here

On lighter note, Bridesmaids is another funny movie after heavy workday (here)

On 'Sharing Dukh'

2011-05-19T11:27:00.001-05:00

"Agar main tumhara dukh bant nahi sakta to mujhe use sunne ki zaroorat bhi nahi"!

Mardam Gazeedah - Iqbal Hasan Azad

2011-05-15T03:56:00.002-05:00

Maulana Rumi kehte hain: "Kitab insaan ko khud dhund leti hai". Aesa hi aik waqiya peechle dinoN kuch hamare saath ho gaya.

As I was coming out of our city library, I saw an Urdu book in 'new arrivals' section. First I found it to be strange at 'Gora's' library but checked it out. It was a collection of short stories by someone Iqbal Hasan Azad. I never heard or read this name before. I tried 'googling' but didn't find much info. I checked library's catalog and found that he hailed from a small town in Bihar, India called Jamalpur. He is an Urdu teacher there. He is 55 years old and have published only 2 collections of short stories so far. When I read his stories, I just loved them. He writes very short stories (22 stories in 148 pages). His language is simple and sweet. Stories have been taken from everyday life and climax usually comes in last 3/4 lines which tells a lot more about his intelligence. I will just write 2 lines on his 10 selected stories to convey post's message.

Mardam gazeedah (means bitten by men) is a story of man who gets attacked by wild dogs. Bystanders watch him like its a regular event. A common scene back home in by lanes!

Chandi ke Taar is a story of a man who remained busy in outside world without realizing that his daughters are getting old beyond getting married and needs attention of his fatherly obligations.

Bus yaheen tuk ...is a story of 'makafate-amal'. How life comes back to bite us of our wrong deeds!

Rone wale is an interesting story of just died man who along with angel of death attends his own last rites and is watching his family and friends' reaction after his death.

Nahi Mummy, Nahi.... is a conversation between a pregnant woman and his unborn child to convince him that why he needs to be born in this world!

Ticket is a story of an old man who refuse to lose his dignity in face of changing children's attitude.

Zindagi, Is pal - is a sweet tale of how nothing matters if at the end of the day, loving spouse is there to take you in her arms.

Dushman describes us that enemies of nation are not at borders but are actual ills of society.

Dubta Ubharta aadmi - is a tell of a good man whose character finally gives up to corruption and lust.

La-Makaan is only a 2 page tell of newly wed couple who could not decide where to put their sacred religious book in house!

Basode Ki Maryam

2011-05-12T13:51:00.000-05:00

All my life I get inspired by this piece written by Asad Mohammad Khan (here). I found this as one of the few greatest human profiles written in Urdu literature. It is the story of innocence of human heart, love and sacrifices - where human love wins above men's all other convictions. Zia Mohuddin made it immortal with his voice.

"Wet Place" !

2011-05-11T14:03:00.000-05:00

When I first eye balled this story I felt - its stupid! but after reading whole story I have different thoughts. What make sense in it - is providing a death with dignity - in bed - for those who were unable to rise against many odds of life. Its just that we are more blessed, nothing else. Click on story.

A safe place to drink, or just giving up?

Aik Pakistani aurat, 3 betian aur woh kala shaks!

2011-05-09T00:18:00.014-05:00

"Main achhe gharane se thi aur shadi bhi bare paise wale gharane main hui magar Pakistan main rupe ki rel pel ne mere shohar ko sharabi bana diya. Main kiya ker sakti thi. Yake baad degre 3 betian paida ho gain. Main unhe bara kerne main lug gai. Magar jub sharabi shohar ke sharabi doston ki pehle nazrain, aur phir daraz haat, jawan hoti betioN pe parne lage to main kisi tarah visa le ker America aa gai.

Jese tese ker ke yahan aik naukri mili. Naukri dene wale ne 'Green card' ka lalach de ker khub 'abuse' kiya. Main ne poore 4 baras, aik chutti kiye bagair, aik desi restaurant main 12 12 ghante lagatar kaam kiya. 4 baras baad pata laga sab jhut tha. Immigration ka kubhi koi case file hi nahi huwa tha. Peeche se shohar ne talaq bhijwa di. Ooper se internet aa gaya. Mere bahir rehne ke baais betian poora poora din chatting pe guzarne lagiN, 'boys' ke saath 'hang out' kerne lagin....... Ajeeb kash-makash main thi. Naukri chorun to ghar kese chalaun. Naukri pe rahun to jin jawan betioN ke liye des chora wahi bigri jaayain. 9/11 ka waqiya ho gaya. Immigration na-mumkin ho gai. Employer ke tevar aur char gaye.

Aur phir aik Allah ka farishta aaya.

Hamare restaurant pe aik 70-75 baras ka homeless "kalla" har subh coffee peene aata tha. Use Pancreatic cancer tha. 9/11 ke waqiye ke baad har koi immigration ka sawal poochta. Aik din main ne use apni bipta sunai. Us "kalle" ne kaha: 'main to kuch dinoN main mar jaunga, tum mujh se shadi ker lo'. Hum dono ne chupke se 'court marriage' ker li. Main ne use ghar main aik kamra de diya. Main ne dusre din hi 'papers' file ker diye. Woh subah sawere ghar se nikal jaata aur raat mere ghar aane ke baad lautta ke use maalum tha mujeh jawan betioN ki fiqar rahe gi. Khud hi ja ker apni 'chemotherapy' kerwata, hospital main admit ho jaata ya discharge ho jaata. American immigration ne har tarah se kureda magar us shaks ne mera saath na chora. Us ne badle main na to kubhi kuch manga aur na hi kubhi mujeh chune ki kisi khawish ka izhar kiya.(Haan albatta apartment building main muqeem dusre desioN ne jeena dobhar ker diya). ....Hum sab ko bil-aakhir green card mil gaya. 4 mahine baad woh faut ho gaya. Hum hi ne church main uski aakhri rasoomat ka bandobast kiya.

Waqt guzarta gaya. Betian khairiat se bari ho gain, 2 ki shahdi achhi jagah ho chuki hai. Mera ghar bun gaya, apna restaurant ho gaya. Salam is mulk ko aur shukar Allah ka ke din pher diye. Magar aaj bhi us shaks ki tasveer mere bedroom ke sarahne rakhi hai. Har saal main us ki qabar pe aik diya jalati hun. Jub tuk is mulk main meri auladain abad rahain gi us ka jalaya diya jalta rahe ga.

Jub apne saare saath chor gaye, aik homeless "kalla" kaam aaya - jinhe hum sub ko haqarat se dekhne ki adat ho gai hai.

Manzil

2011-05-07T02:20:00.000-05:00

(Taken from facebook)

Zindagi ki sachai aik Qabaristan k bahar likhi thi:
"Manzil To Meri Yehi Thi . . . Bas Zindagi Guzar Gayi Yahan Aate Aate !"

On 'Negative Pacifism'

2011-05-05T09:51:00.002-05:00

"Those were rainy days. As I was walking on muddy path while trying to save myself from bushes and dirt on both sides, I saw a black cow coming from other side. Her eyes were bright and horns were long and sharp. I thought in my heart that I should not get afraid from a cow. Cow is a very passive animal and have even read in books that cow is like a mother. But that was just my wish. As I saw her coming towards me I gave her way but rather than going straight she changed her direction towards me and before I do anything, she attacked my chest with her sharp horns and I fall all flat in dirt over the bushes. After completely throwing me down, like she achieved her goal, she went forward on muddy path.

That day I had a big experience of life. Sign of non-violence (pacifism) may bring violence itself. and - what is visible from outside not necessary to be same from inside. So self protection is a rule which should never be forgotten."

(Translated from a short story "Giraft" of Iqbal Hasan Azad. He is a Urdu teacher in one small town call Jamalpur in Bihar, India. He is even hard to find on google but I found his writings swift and of par excellence. I wish if he had hailed from a bigger city. Hopefully will write a full post on him. He deserves all praise.)

Kubhi hum Khubsurat the!

2011-04-29T00:34:00.009-05:00

My kids love TV show iCarly. Since last few days I saw my son humming its tittle song... "I know, you see, Somehow the world will change for me..." (here)

"So, you think, world will really change for you?"
"It can!"

Main chup raha, Ye umar bhi kesi masoom hoti hai.
It reminded me of Nayyara Noor song: Kubhi hum khubsurat the,.......

"African Cats" - its all about motherly instinct

2011-04-26T00:00:00.004-05:00

One of my intellectual cousin drag me to see new Disneynature movie "African Cats". It is an amazingly true story captured via camera over 20 years in Maasai Mara national park of Kenya! It is the story of 3 families.

1. Sita is a single mother Cheetah raising 5 cubs, feeding and protecting them alone from other beasts and bullies. She loses 2 of her cubs to deadly Hyenas but raises other 3 with all skills to survive in wild world of jungle. (Sounds human?)

2. Tribe of 'Pride' - story of Laila and her beloved daughter Mara. 'Pride' consist of a male lion called Fang, his six wives/lionesses and their cubs. Laila is the strongest and most skillfull hunter. Fang is a mean, coward and a selfish lion who abondon his family in the trying time. Laila tried her best to keep pride intact but due to injuries and old age leave Mara to her sister named Malaika before dying.(Again sounds human?)

3. Very strong lion Kali and his 4 sons who live on the other side of river and wants to dethrone Fang. They regularly bully Sita and her cubs too.

Climax and end comes when Kali and sons attack Fang. He runs away leaving his family at the mercy of Kalis. 5 lionesses loses fight and becomes kali wives. Mara loses her aunt and cousins during fight. She is unskillful and lost without her mother among wild beasts. Finally she learns her skills on her own and at end reunite with her family. Movie ends as Sita teaches the last skill of survival to her cubs before leaving to lead a solitary life. (Sounds human?)

It is all about motherly instinct of protecting cubs in wild wild jungle and making sure they learn to survive on their own. Film is narrated in impressive voice of no one else but Samuel L. Jackson.

Trailer here

On Age, Marriage and 'AadataiN'

2011-04-24T06:27:00.001-05:00

(Following post may be biased depending on my experiences, so all comments, compliments, criticisms and statements are welcome).

Not only I am lucky to have good teachers but also fortunate to have good students all my life. I started giving private tutitions at age 14 and since than being in academic environment till today, if you ask me to pinpoint the best age for any human - its somewhere between 26-30 years. This is the period where you are out of teenage hormonal bipolarism, ripe with enthusiasm and energy to conquer the world!, but at the same time willing to take advises and lessons from life. Your habits are still not fully formed. Personally, I think this is the best age to get married too - as like a woman's skirt you are mature enough to cover the values but still short to cover a lot of skin.......And as we pass 30, slowly, our way of life, our opinions, our habits (this word can't replace the word 'aadatain' in Urdu) and the way we want others to behave become a defined line with progressive rigidity. And it continues to get worse. Its both good and bad. Good as at least you have a formed idea of things but may be bad as your uncompromising attitude irritate and piss off people!

Dur kahin gharyal ye deti hai manadi
Haye tu ne umr ki aik aur ghari ghata di